Last minute push

What a fucking crazy night. We didn’t do any business until 10:20, and for the record we do last call at 11 p.m. At 8 we sent home the food runner and at 10 we sent home the other bartender because it was so quiet. She looked at me and said, “Are you sure?” and I acted like she was an idiot, since the entire night had consisted of only one of us being behind the bar and the other of us lollygagging in some manner or another. And not soon after she left, the bar filled up and a sixteen people came in and asked if I could make 16 pineapple mojitos, and certainly you should never say no to that. So the ship immediately started sinking. The owner arrived in the beginning of the chaos, thank God, because she ran drinks and food. However, our newest server kept fucking up left and right and unfortunate to her, the owner was there to witness everything. I had already decided to sit down with her and share with her all of her inadequacies that she exhibited from last week (she was on vacation most of this week), but after tonight it was pretty much the, we want to fire you, but we can’t until next week when we find your replacement, so maybe you might want to look for another job.

That conversation is always awkward and it is the shittiest part of my job. I really wish that everyone was smart, hardworking, and good with people. But it seems like a lot of lazy people with very little personality somehow end up in this business. And I work at a place where we never fire people, we just make it so miserable until they quit or we schedule them down to the point where they need to find other work. And unfortunately, this week we are already understaffed because of the whole, “I think I want to be a wild land firefighter” thing.

So on a more cocktaily note. I created a cilantro mango margarita that is killing it. I really only put it on the list to show that cilantro is a tangible cocktail ingredient, but it has become my best selling cocktail in only a few short days. Who would have thunk it?

Cheers!

WOMEN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.