Unfortunately, there was not any event that was really noteworthy tonight. We got a really good push right around 7 that lasted for a couple of hours. Doable, but I definitely had that sinking feeling a couple of times, which I don't feel very often. Sometimes it is fun to get a push, you feel on it and people are impressed to see you in action, but today I just felt like I had the big facko macko grin on every time I turned around and I was sure that everyone could see right through it. The night would have been easier with a food runner -- next week.
Had a good interview today, hopefully this girl is good. We bring her in for a realistic on Friday, which is always a good test of stamina. It's a busy long night and people either excited because they know they are going to make money, or they freak out because it is too much. Hopefully she's into it. I really need someone good, I only like working with smart witty fun hard-working people who are over achievers, everyone else just drives me fucking crazy. And I already have one server who drives me fucking crazy, need not two.
So the night was winding down and I was washing my 300th rack of dishes and who walks in but Yakov! I started laughing and told him I was sure that he was in prison. I guess his friend's (the friend who he moved from Las Vegas) father died two weeks ago and he had to help her get him to the hospital and then help her make arrangements for his funeral. He said he's also been busy helping with his father's business since his father seemed to have an expenditure problem while Yakov was gone. His father makes some type of airplane part and Yakov helps him somehow, perhaps by selling them on the black market to the Russians. I think the Russians still like to buy things like that from us on the black market, sure of it.
We have the craziest fucking cook now. The guy that runs the kitchen is a Mexican guy; let's call him Jose. He's been with the people that own the restaurant for three years, so we often give him the benefit of the doubt. He is the most moody person I've ever met and we always joke he's on the rag. He needs his back patted every time he puts a dish up.
Yah! Jose knows how to make a summer roll! Typically we get everyone together for a cheer, but tonight we were too busy to cheer each time a cheese plate came out of the kitchen.
He is the most annoying fucking thing in the world and we are hoping at the end of the summer that we can find someone to replace him. The obvious choice would be the girl working on the cold side of the kitchen right now. She can work sauté, but doesn't unless it's a bit of an emergency. It's a small kitchen, it runs with two cooks and a dishwasher. Jose recently had a baby and is always running home to take the baby and his unbelievably boring wife to the hospital. At 6:30 Jose decided that he needed to take the baby to the hospital, which left this kooky girl cooking. When the owner of the restaurant showed up to help her in the rush, she thought there was a problem. I'm like, you can't work the whole kitchen by yourself, the ticket times would be too long. Then she started mumbling in this weird southern drawl she has. I don't have a fucking clue what she was saying, although it was clear that she didn't think she was mumbling, but rather having a conversation with me. I nodded and agreed, I was just too tired to say, "I don’t understand a fucking word you're saying." In the midst of breaking down and cleaning the kitchen, she came out to the bar with her handbag on her shoulder like she was leaving. I asked if she was leaving and then she started mumbling some ya'll mumble jumble again. Then she went back into the kitchen and mopped the floor. She seemed kooky before, but now she appears to be schizophrenic. Fantastic, just what the doctor ordered as we go into the two busiest months of the year.
Cheers!
A guy enters the bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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