My job has been so easy for the past six months, everyone is happy at work. All of the guests are happy, the owners are happy. In our free time, I think many of us just wanted to hold hands and skip down the street whistling and singing. Then one day the kitchen manager noticed he wasn’t so happy and became very grumpy towards the wait staff. This became and issue, but not for long because he was offered another job and gave his notice. I don’t know if I’ve been writing on this blog for you to notice one thing about this restaurant, that being that we have very high turnover in the kitchen, especially kitchen managers. I account that to very poor management on behalf of the owner. As I do not hire or fire for the kitchen, I just make sure that make consistent quality of food in a respectful amount of time.
The person I work for is very manipulative and passive aggressive. Perhaps the reason I get along with him is because I am not manipulative and just aggressive. But no one else can seem to tolerate him in the restaurant, in particular in the back of the house. When the kitchen manager left, the pantry girl (who is crazy) asked to be promoted and she was. She shouldn’t have been or if she was, she needed guidance. But she was promoted into a position that she is not capable of carrying out. The man I work for has treated her despicably and is mentally abusive. Rather than helping her get to where she needs to be, he questions all of her actions - finally breaking down her confidence to a point where she is going crazy. This craziness carries through the entire restaurant and everyone has been a lot less happy than usual this past month. It’s been difficult.
Of course, she eventually decides to leave on bad terms. Which is what has happened with almost every single kitchen manager. This Saturday will be her last day and then once again, there will be turmoil in the kitchen as we try to get it to a point of harmony. The owner has asked me to manage the kitchen more, which I will be happy to do assuming that he stays the hell away and doesn’t harass my employees.
His wife used to harass the wait staff very similarly to how he likes to ride the cooks, and it literally came to a head one night over her wanting to fire someone over a nose ring. In this particular conversation I told her that she is mean and condescending to the servers. Typically one in particular, she constantly questions every move they make, tells them their shirt isn’t right, or their shoes aren’t black enough, or a million other petty things of this nature. After a very miserable evening where she refused to look at me and I know that she would never like me the same again, she interviewed every staff member to find out if this was true and we haven’t seen her in the restaurant since. Could I ever be so lucky with her husband?
Otherwise, I had an awful man come in the bar last night. He stood in the doorway with his hoody on looking around in a very creepy manner, not like he was looking for someone but rather he was just looking for trouble. I said hello and he didn’t answer. I asked him if I could help him with something and he didn’t answer. I finally said, “Are you not even going to say hello?” and with that he sat down at the bar. He ordered water and I replied, “You come here rudely and now you sit down to have a water. You can leave.” I expect someone to flip me off or tell me to go to hell when I tell them to leave the bar, but he looks at me and says, “You’re the reason I don’t date American girls,” and I replied, “fret not, I wasn’t interested.” And then he replies, “When you are sleeping at night, you have pleasant dreams of eating your own shit.” Jesus Fucking Christ, where did this one come from and why does he have to show up on my doorstep. After a couple, “Get the fuck out, he finally leaves.”
Five minutes later he is back at the door screaming about how he is going to call my boss and tell him how rude I was to him, how he owns three bars and he can’t believe how our bar is ran, all the while interjecting a fuck you just to keep it as offensive as possible. We were tempted to ask if he had a position for our crazy pantry girl turned kitchen manager, but one crazy + one crazy never equals anything good. He eventually leaves after we tell him we are calling the police. He first says, “Call the police, taser me, I don’t care.” But then he does leave.
I don’t really ever expect to see him again, but tonight who shows smoking three cigarettes in his mouth at once. Yes, the crazy man. He comes in declaring that he will be accepting my apology and I told him that there wasn’t a chance in hell I would apologize to him, but he definitely could apologize to me. He sat down and apologized three times and then asked my name, which I replied I would not give him. To that he said I was coy and sullen, which regardless of him being completely obnoxious I found slightly fascinating. Not often described as coy and sullen. He kept trying to talk and I looked at him and said, “I don’t know what to say to you. You come in here telling me that I dream of eating my own shit. If you really own three bars, you must understand why you have been kicked out. We are never starting over. You are never being served in this bar. You will never be welcome here. You will never set foot in here again. I accept your apology.” He got up and said he would be back, which scared everyone around me more than myself, but it made me call the police to keep an eye out for him. Because you just never know, any crazy can buy a gun in this country.
Otherwise, I’ve got some things brewing about having my own place. I don’t want to jinx it, so enough said.
First Friday coming up and we are hiring someone new. One of my servers is moving to Minneapolis to be with her girlfriend. I wish her the best of luck and we will miss her.
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"
